No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
