What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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