I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Acid is not a monday night drug
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
did i walk over a car last night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You've changed since you got that strap on
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
