DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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