do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
