watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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