Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize