Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Help. Why am I so naked?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
