OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
