you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize