I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
