How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
