check it out our google latitudes are spooning
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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