Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
