So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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