I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
