so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
