break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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