I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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