I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Life is so much better after having sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize