One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
