Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
