We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
