toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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