She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
