dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
