You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
