I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Come share oat with me in your robe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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