when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
