What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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