Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys

(1-804): View more from Virginia

wow, that really makes you stop and think.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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(805): View more from California

just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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(443): View more from Maryland

she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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(240): View more from Maryland

You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand

(240): View more from Maryland

you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed

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