My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
