What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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