Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
