I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
