Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
