oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize