I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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