you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
