I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to calm my uterus...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
