Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
