Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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