So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
