Can Purell be used as lube?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize