have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
