I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
