someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
