It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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