how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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