Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
