Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
