I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
