i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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