from now on my penis is your penis
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
