I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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