Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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